Tuesday, March 9, 2010

International Women's Day (NMM vs. YSB)

How International Women's Day in the Knesset became One Big Joke.

How's this for a succinct answer? Yulia Shamalov-Berkovich (Kadima).

Ok, you say. Shamalov-Berkovich (Kadima) is not very succinct as Israeli names go. You're right. But ignore that for now. Let me explain.

On International Women's Day, this already less-than-stellar uber-freshman MK was not joking when her office issued a press release with the following headline:
"In honor of International Women's Day – Female MKs are battling the cold in the Knesset"
The rest of the announcement went on to explain that YSB has taken up the struggle to get the Knesset to turn down the air conditioning. She wrote a letter on the subject to Knesset Director-General Dan Landau, a copy of which reached NMM's hands:

"Since I have arrived in the Knesset, I find myself frequently sick and chilled due to temperatures that
reach as low as 16 degrees (Celsius). I have requested, I have restrained myself, I have suffered, and
enough is enough. I do not understand how one can advance anything in the Knesset when the entire place [gives examples to show that she knows that Knesset includes features such as dining rooms, committee rooms, and the plenum] is "dog cold".

"Although well dressed men here are found in suits, which maintain their body heat and their status, the accepted dress code expected of us, women, includes an elegant appearance that frequently involves skirts, dresses, high heels, and so forth."

"I was surprised to discover that some committee chairman demand that the ushers not raise the thermostat in committee rooms and I was not aware that their authority included veto power regarding temperature in hearing rooms."

"According to the Electric Company, the recommended temperature for the public in buildings in order to maintain reasonable electric use is between 22-24 degrees, winter and summer. Maintaining this temperature range in the Knesset will not merely help ensure the health of those who visit, but will also save a fortune in public funds."

According to an independent poll that I carried out in the Knesset, it seems that this phenomenon is not unique to me. Many members of Knesset, male as well as female, share my feelings and are forced to dress in a warmer, heavier and bulkier manner."

"From one issue to another on the same subject: The plenum hall suffers from a lack of ventilation and unpleasant compacting (?) of air. The feeling is one of sitting in a sealed and unventilated room. It seems that in an attempt to rectify the lack of ventilation, those in charge choose to freeze the air in the plenum. The result: both strangling and freezing.

"Thus I would thank you if the temperature in the Knesset could be maintained at no lower than 22-24 degrees and I would appreciate if you could find an alternative solution to the freezing of the plenum in a way that will allow for appropriate cross-ventilation and will cast aside the inappropriate and inhumane solution of freezing the plenum.

I am certain that the creative and innovative spirit that flows through your veins will ensure finding suitable solutions to the problems that I have addressed.


From woman to woman, a day after IWD, Yulia, I really must thank you. Thank you for reducing the role of the woman to the stereotypical "ooh, its cold in here". Thank you for implying that to be appropriately elegant, I come outfitted in skirts and high heels. Thank you for belittling the true importance of a day meant to raise awareness of the difficulties facing women in the modern world, and of choosing to highlight such an important issue as opposed to truly less-significant topics such as pay gaps, glass ceilings, and "family honor killings".

And thank you, as always, your invaluable effort in reinforcing negative stereotypes regarding the abilities, considerations and concerns of female parliamentarians.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Neo-Malthusian Structuralism and Flying with a Toddler

I have no time, really none, to write this post. But if I don’t get back on the proverbial horse, then…..well, I won’t be on the horse.

I was just inspired by reading a truly good Blog about travelling with a very small child. Or a very big baby. Or just a pint-sized ball of terror/energy/kisses.

So here it is, folks. I am overworked up the wazzoo, which is why I haven’t written anything in two months. I have a book review due on Sunday that still scares the bejeezus out of me, mostly because I think that the author’s school of thought is neo-Malthusian structuralism. Try to Wiki that… Not to mention the fact that in order to write a five-page paper, my most logical course of action is to summarize (prĂ©cis) the book. All 600 pages of it, including odd calculus-based curves that track GNPs translated into wheat-purchase-power, alongside population growth and, uh, land use?

And in spite of the fact that I should be reading more about the failure of the tax structure in 18th century France, I am blogging to get one thing off of my chest:

I am terrified of flying with my son.

There, I said it. He is wonderful, smart and charming. But he also has very impressive lung power, is reluctant to sleep, and really likes climbing things. And all of that, including the physical discomfort of having him on my lap for a dozen or so hours, is minor compared with my discomfort when facing that utter disdain with which I know I will be greeted by my fellow passengers.

And now, to top it off, I’m scared that the flight attendants will remove me for “security concerns” if Little N loses it for a minute, or if I do something really objectionable like ask for a bottle of water when we’re stuck on the tarmac or take him for a walk up and down the aisles in the hopes that he will fall asleep while in motion. Because, if various news sources are to be believed, its happened before.
Last year: If only it was always this easy
There are no words of comfort, I think, that will reduce my trepidation in the coming weeks before we are set to go on vacation. Even neo- Malthusian structuralism and French tax history seem appealing in comparison to the Flights.

Instead, I will include a brief travelers’ prayer. To be read responsively by both parents prior to flight.

Oh Divine Divinity
Make the plane fly fast.
Give me roomy bulkhead seats
Don’t make me get off last.

Oh Divine Divinity
Let us all fall asleep
From London through to Washington
Without nary a peep.

Oh Divine Divinity
Let OJ flow like wine
Let there be an extra meal
So L’il N don’t eat mine

Oh Divine Divinity
Let others cast not stares
Nor grimaces nor hateful gripes
Whispered asides and glares

Because, Divine Divinity
They too were once young kids
You want to claim you never cried?
I’ll bet on it you did.

I swear, Divine Divinity
I’d rather take a train
But you went and made the oceans
And so I’m stuck on this plane.

In short, mighty Divinity
Pretty please, answer this prayer
Divert the yells, the cries and poop
Until we’ve landed there.